• Fun Playing With Hartzler's Family Dairy and Egg Creams!

Bond is back, saving the world from a villain who's plotting to . . . wait a minute, this can't be right. Hold on, let us check something. Let's see . . . Huh. Well. OK, then. It seems the bad guy is plotting to control the water supply of Bolivia. What -- is he going to torture Bond by forcing him to drink it and then locking the bathroom door? Opens Friday.

Elle Woods brings her Chihuahua and her dancing shoes to the Palace Theater at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday. They made the 2001 movie into a Broadway show because "Paris Hilton: The Musical" wasn't quite fluffy enough.

The baby singer wuz robbed when he came in second to David Cook on "American Idol" last spring. Now it's time for a rematch: Both have albums coming out this month. Lil' David's drops Tuesday, Big Bald David's on Tuesday, Nov. 18. Oh, and that sound you hear? That's the screaming of millions of little Archies.

Think he's a baby now, releasing an album at 17? Wait 'til you hear him sing Alicia Key's "Fallin' " -- complete with growls -- when he was all of 12, on a 2003 episode of "Star Search." Go to YouTube -- www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6fKno0FVkY-- and be sure to wait for the end, when judge Naomi Judd calls him "a soulful little Wayne Newton Mini-Me!"

Playing a "troubled young woman," guest star Mary-Kate Olsen returns to the ABC sitcom world where she started out as an infant. Weighing only slightly less than she does now. 9:30 tonight, ABC.

The comedian brings her "Beautiful" tour to the Lakewood Civic Auditorium at 8 p.m. Friday. Something -- maybe her wicked routines about the evils of trying to conform to Hollywood beauty standards -- tells us she won't be demonstrating Mary Kay products. Or using Mary-Kate as a role model.

When it was released in theaters, Roger Ebert called it "a deadening film that cuts corners on its animation and slumbers through a plot that (a) makes us feel like we've seen it all before, and (b) makes us wish we hadn't." Yoda said, "Good it was not." DVD comes out Tuesday.

The holiday DVDs are dropping faster than needles from a dry tree. Because the one thing we all need is a reminder that the holidays are looming. Delroy Lindo and Loretta Devine star; it arrives Tuesday.

He brings the funny to PlayhouseSquare's State Theatre, 8 p.m. Thursday. But does his Comedy Central contract require him to leave his mind at the studio?

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